smells..

smells.
they make me wanna cry.. in psych i’ve learned over and over that the area of our brains the process smells is very closely linked to our emotional center. which is why.. when you’re smelling a familiar smell, you’re not just processing it with your nose.. you’re feeling it. 

and that’s also why even a scent from a longass time ago can bring back intense and vivid memories. the smell of the citrusy-mango air freshener that was plugged in the wall of my dorm room freshman year brings back such a wave of nostalgia and emotions i could cry.. and it’s exactly like i’m back there again, with everything novel and new, my sweet roomie arianna a complete stranger to me…

and likewise the smell of the apple-vanilla wall freshener from the beginning of sophomore year reminds me so vividly of new furniture, a foreign new house, kim. 

my old perfume.. ‘paradise,’ by alfred sung.. hah. it reminds me of *drew. which ofcourse, is why i’ve stopped using it. pity.. :T
the chi serum i used to rub into my hair before sleeping over with *jake.. well yeah obviously it reminds me of that time, and him.
and even though it was such a short time.. the lotion i used when *wes and i used to talk.. “coconut lime verbena” lol. it reminds me of him, and how stupidly foolish and optimistic i used to be. and how… very not myself. 
and i’m SURE.. as soon as i’m through using this new perfume by lucky, it’ll remind me of this time. and then.. what rush of emotions will lucky bring back to me? will they be happy or full of loneliness&longing and shit? gahh. hindsight is 20/20. and so is.. hindsmell. haha. i wish i could know now.. what kind of emotions now.. will bring back to me.

ahh. there are no words.

my mother was blowing her hair just now, and for some insane reason, the smell reminded me of cologne. a thrilling, fresh-smelling cologne… like.. like a boy.
aahh…. sigh.

i have this bottle of lucky cologne that was accidentally sent to me by a seller on ebay. i was trying to buy the girl’s perfume. but she let me keep it. whenever me or kim take whiffs of it, we get tremors- that’s how damn good it smells. it smells like a sexy assss clean beautiful boy. haha. guess i’ll spend the rest of my lonely life sniffing cologne and loving a dream out of my reach.